How To Leave Town
by The achievement hunter guy
Summary: Lincoln has been suffering from depression for the past year, and now it's finally starting to tear him apart. It seems like all hope is lost, but all Lincoln needs to do to get better, is to open up to the people who care about him the most. (Rated M for suicidal thoughts, rape, violence, and self harm)
1. After The Event

**Chapter One: After The Event**

"For the past year I've been living in a town that gets a lot of tourists in the summer months, they come and stay for a couple of days, but hey, I'm living here, everyday."-Will Toledo (from the song Vincent).

* * *

Her blood was wouldn't come off my hands. It was like it had been drawn on with permanent marker. It seemed like it was starting to stain my hands. Her blood was already all over my shirt and it was already dry. There was no way it was gonna come off now. My breathing hasn't calmed down since the assualt started. I was still breathing heavily and besides the sound of the faucet, it was the only noise in the room.

I suddenly heard yelling from outside the bathroom door. It sounded like a bunch of adults freaking out after finding her unconscious. I started to sob, I knew that I was gonna be in serious trouble once they find me. There was no point in running away or hiding, I know that I'm fucked the minute someone opens that door.

All I wanted to do is break up with her, but no, she had to take it so seriously. I didn't even wanna hurt her, but when she grabbed my shirt, and threatened to beat me up, I just lost it. I didn't wanna hurt her, she didn't deserve that.

I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. It didn't even seem like I was looking at Lincoln Loud anymore. I wasn't looking at the caring brother or the caring friend that would do anything for the people he loves, no, I was looking at a damn monster.

I wanna be Lincoln again, but I can't. No matter how hard I try to be a good person, I end up making things worse for everyone I love and care about. Is it even worth trying anymore? Was I even born to be a caring person? Is it my destiny to be a screw up?

The sound of the bathroom door slowly opening made me stop my internal evaluation. I looked over at the door just in time to see my best friend Clyde Mcbride. He fully entered the room and closed the door. He kept his distance and remained quiet, which was the smartest thing he could do at that moment.

I turned away from him and continued you to stare at myself in the mirror, as if the real Lincoln would appear suddenly. There was nothing but the sound of my breathing in that small room for what felt like hours. Clyde just continued to stare at me, occasionally getting a better look of me to make sure I wasn't crying.

After a while, a finally turned to Clyde and asked, "What are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be out there with them, looking for me?"

"I volunteered to look for you, but I really just wanted to see if you were okay.", Clyde said finally approaching me.

"But now you might get in trouble", I said.

"After all the times you've gotten in trouble for me, I owe you this", he said laying a hand on my arm.

For the first time today, I smiled. I genuinely smiled. Clyde was a true friend,my only true friend, I can't believe he's still on my side after what I just did.

"So", Clyde started, "Do you have a plan to get us out of here? Or are we screwed."

"Oh, we are definitely screwed", I said, "I'm gonna be grounded for life and you might get detention."

"Might?", Clyde chuckled, "I'm absolutely getting detention for talking to you."

"No you're not", I said shaking my head, "Just because I'm getting in trouble doesn't mean you have to suffer as well. I want you to bring me to the office with my hands behind my back."

He opened his mouth to protest, but I wasn't having any of it. "I'm not taking no for an answer man. Just take me to the office so I can receive the punishment I deserve.", I said sternly.

Clyde sighed and gave in, "Whatever you say man."

I put my hands behind my back and Clyde tied them together with string. This was somethings that was often done at my school. Before today, I never understood the point of using the rope, it seemed liked overkill to me, but now I understand why it is used, it's used to protect out of control monsters like me.

As we walked to the door, Clyde said, "You know Lincoln, even after what you just did, I still don't think any less of you. You're still my best friend, and the best guy I know."

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Wait, didn't you see what I did out there? I completely destroyed Ronnie Anne. She might be seriously hurt, and you still think I'm the best person you know?"

He didn't change his tone, "I saw what happened out there, and I do want an explimation, but I can see that your not in a good position right now and it would be a bad idea to try and get an explimation out of you now. You need some time to cool down."

I remained silent. I didn't want to tell him that he was wrong and I wasn't the best person he knew, I didn't even wanna call myself a person after what I have done today. Clyde opened the door and we both walked out making our way to the principal's office. There was no in the hallway and I thanked God for that. If there was anyone staring at me, I would've lost my mind again.

Me and Clyde walked to our destination in complete silence. I knew that he wanted to ask me more questions, but he remained silent, I appreciated that. You could feel the tenseness between and cut it with a knife. This hurts. Clyde has always been a person I could talk to, but I couldn't even talk to him about the thing that's been eating me alive the most.

Eventually, Clyde and I made it to the principal's office, and I got a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew what was going to happen to me, hell, maybe something even worse would happen. I guess I deserved it whatever's gonna happen.

Clyde undid the string and said, "Good luck buddy, I'll see you later."

I nodded at him and approached the door to the office. I hesitated at first, but I realized that I was just post-poning my faith, so I manned up and entered the room. When I was in the room I heard the sound of Ronnie Anne crying and I felt a bunch of eyes on me.

I was a coward. I didn't wanna look up and face whoever was in that room with me, but I had no choice. "Look up", I heard the voice of Principal Huggins say.

I looked up and he was giving me a stern look that even the most well behaved students have become accustomed to. He got down on one knee so he and I were at eye level, "You know why you're here Lincoln. I've heard Ronnie Anne's side of the story, it's only fair that I hear yours."

 **Author's Note: I'm gonna end it there. Don't worry, the next chapter and the chapters that follow will be much longer than this one.**


	2. Nothing But A Dissapointment

**Chapter Two: Nothing But A Dissapointment**

"I am truly only here to disappoint" - Matt Skiba (from the song I'm Only Here to Disappoint).

* * *

"Everything Ronnie Anne has told you is correct. Hearing my side of the story isn't gonna do anything.", I said still refusing to move my head. Mr. Huggins was unfazed by my statement, "Lincoln, it's a requirement that I hear both sides if the story. For all I know Romnie Anne could've been lying."

"But she isn't ", I said plainly, "I know Ronnie Anne and there's no way she would lie. Especially about something as serious as this."

"Why did you assault her!?", a voice to my left said. I recognized that voice to be Bobby Santiago. Ronnie Anne's brother, my sister Lori's boyfriend, and my long time "bro", although I think it's fair to assume that the _bro_ thing is pretty much done for. I could sense that he was giving me a really nasty look, and the only thing that kept him getting up and killing me, was that he needed to comfort his sister. Bobby is a very caring brother, unlike me.

"Calm yourself Mr. Satiago.", Mr. Huggins said as he momentarily turned his attention to the older boy. He quickly turned his attention back to me, "Now Lincoln, if everything Ronnie Anne said is true, then why did you assault her? We still don't know."

I sighed and quietly said, "I...I thought she was going to beat me up."

Mr. Huggins leaned in closer, "Speak up Lincoln, I can't hear you."

"I thought she was gonna beat me up", I said more clearly. I made sure that I kept my voice low and soft so Ronnie Anne and Bobby couldn't hear me. Mr. Huggins looked at me with a quite unreadable face. I honestly couldn't tell what he was thinking.

He turned to Bobby and said, "Could you and your sister please wait outside." Bobby couldn't say no to the man's request. He picked up Ronnie Anne and gave me a hate filled glare as he left. Mr. Huggins got up and sat behind his desk. He motioned to a chair in the corner and I nodded. I got the chair and I dragged it in front of the desk. I sat down on the chair and still refused to look up.

"You're gonna need to tell me everything about what happened today.", Mr. Huggins said, "Start from when you first entered the cafeteria." I didn't want to relive this part of my life again, I already wanted to forget about this event, but there's no way I can do that.

"Fine, I was going to meet Ronnie Anne in the cafeteria because I wanted to break up with her.", I started.

"Why exactly did you want to break up with her", Mr. Huggins asked, "From what I've seen, she is a very nice girl."

"She is a nice girl. She's amazing. It's just that... I haven't felt the same about Ronnie Anne for a long time now.", I explained, "My love and admiration for her has died and I no longer see her as someone special." Well, that wasn't totally a lie. Mr. Huggins nodded and wrote down something on a piece of paper.

"Continue.", he said without looking at me.

"Alright, well, as cowardly as this sounds, I didn't want to break up with her to her face. So I left a note on her locker.", I said as I continued explaining.

Mr. Huggins stopped writing and slowly tilted his head up to look up at me. He gave me a look as if to say, "Are you serious?"

"I know", I said not even trying to come up with an excuse for my cowardly actions, "I'm not proud of it either. Anyway, I knew by the time lunch came around that she probably found the note. I convinced all of my friends to eat outside so I wouldn't have to confront her. Luckily they didn't really mind, so I didn't have to explain."

"I'm assuming she went looking for you?", Mr. Huggins asked without looking up at me and continuing to write.

I nodded, "Y-Yes. I spent the majority of lunch silent and tense with almost none of my friends noticing. S-"

"Wait", Mr. Huggins cuts me off, "Out of curiosity, what do you mean by 'almost none'?"

"Clyde Mcbride, my best friend, noticed that I was silent and he asked me if I was ok. I lied to him and said I was.", I said.

Mr. Huggins once again nodded and wrote down something on the paper. "Alright Mr. Loud, go on."

"Soon Ronnie Anne found us eating lunch behind the school and she started to question me in front of my friends. She didn't care that they were there. She had tears running down her face and she was gripping my note to her in right hand", I said as my breathing speed starting to increase, "She was screaming loudly at me and she started to draw attention towards us."

"I thought you and your friends were the only ones behind the school?", Mr. Huggins asked.

"W-We were. She was screaming so loud that she got the attention of people in the cafeteria", I said without looking up.

"Jesus", Mr. Huggins mumbled.

"Eventually Ronnie Anne grabbed my shirt and pushed me against the wall. She demanded to know why I broke up with her. I just kept saying she wouldn't understand.", I sighed, "I should've just made up some excuse, but I was an idiot and kept avoiding giving her an answer. That's when she got ready to punch me in the face. And that's when I fought back. I got too carried away."

Mr. Huggins gave me a stern glare. "I swear to God that's all that happened. I didn't mean to hurt her that much. I wish I didn't do it, but there's nothing I can do. I-I deserve any punishment that you give me.", I said laying my head on the table.

I could feel Mr. Huggins looking at me and I could hear him writing stuff down on the piece of paper. If I could keep my head down on that desk forever, I absolutely would. I wish I could just die right here, but God, if he exist, wants me to suffer.

When the sound of the pen on the paper ceased, I heard Mr. Huggins open his office door and ask Ronnie Anne and to come into the room. I heard her little feet enter the room and I heard her sniffing a bit. She was instructed to pull a chair up next to me and sit down. I heard her doing the action I got tense as I felt her presence next to me.

Mr. Huggins went back to his desk and said, "Please look up Mr. Loud."

I reluctantly looked up and saw him giving me a stern look. "Your stories match up. I appreciate you both for telling the truth.", Mr. Huggins said, "Now according to both of your stories, Ronnie Anne, though angry for good reasons, was the one that instigated the fight, so your punishment is one week suspension."

"Yes sir", Ronnie Anne said in a shaky.

Mr. Huggins turned to me, "Now you Lincoln, I am disappointed in you. I expect better from a respectable star student like you. I know you had your own personal reasons for breaking up with Ronnie Anne, but she deserved to be told that your relationship was over to her face. Leaving a simple note on her locker is cowardly and frankly, very disrespectful to this girl."

I continued to look at the principal with a blank expression, but I just wanted to hang my head in shame.

"Lincoln", Mr. Huggins continued, "Your punishment is also a week of suspension." I should get more than that. I injured Ronnie Anne and made her cry. I should be fucking put to death, but instead I just get a week off school and a scolding from the principal. Wow. Such a worthy punishment.

"Both of you, especially you Lincoln, are smart kids with a bright future", Mr. Huggins said, "So I hope I never see either of you in my office under these circumstances ever again. Do I make myself clear?" Me and Ronnie Anne nodded. "Good. I will be on the phone with your parents later."

Fantastic. A week off of school, a lecture from the principal, and a punishment from my parents. Not to mention that Lori will turn me into a human pretzel once she finds out what I did to her boyfriend's little sister. Well, looks like I'm going to have to walk home today, I'm not riding home in a car Lori's driving.

"Alright kids", Mr. Huggins said going on his computer, "I need to get some work done. You are free to go to your class now."

I quickly got out of my chair and got out the room, but I didn't hear Ronnie Anne leave the room which I found odd. I could feel Bobby staring at me, but I'll be damned if I'm looking back. As soon as I knew that I was out of Bobby's sight, I started to walk slowly. I didn't wanna go back to class. I knew that I was going to be met by judgmental stares and angry glares. Granted, I deserved it all, but I'm a coward, I don't want to face what's coming to me.

I decided to make my way to the third grade hallway. I knew that Lucy and her classmates would be getting dismissed for lunch soon and I decided to meet up with her. It was no secret to anyone that Lucy and I had the strongest relationship out of all of siblings. Ever since she was born, it was like love at first sight. I took it upon myself to protect Lucy at cost. I promised that I would be the best brother in the world, and for the most part, I've kept that promise.

I entered the third grade hallway and stood next to Lucy's classroom door. I stood there trying to forget about everything that has happened today, and then I thought about what Lucy would think after she finds out what I did. What is she gonna think? I can handle one of my sisters being angry or disappointed in me, but having Lucy even slightly upset with me is the worst thing ever.

The sound of all the doors in the third grade hallway opening knocked me out of my thoughts. A bunch of kids from ages seven to eight came running out of their classrooms. Some with lunches in their hands and others with lunch money. As the classrooms emptied, I finally saw Lucy coming out of her classroom last. She was clutching her brown lunch bag in her hand. When she saw me waiting for her, she smiled a little bit.

"What are you doing here?", she asked, her monotone voice being the only sound in the hallway, "Don't you have class."

"Yes, but I don't wanna go.", I said. I knew that she was gonna ask more questions, but I didn't mind, I liked talking to Lucy.

"But you'll get in trouble", Lucy said.

"I'm already gonna be in trouble once I get home. You'll probably hear Lori ranting about what I did in the car on the way home", I said. I grabbed her hand and we started to walk outside.

"I don't like it when you get in trouble with Lori, Lincoln", Lucy said with a bit of worry in her voice, "She's already super mad at you after you called her a bitch."

I groaned when she mentioned that. What she's talking about is the day I snapped at Lori and called her a 'Fucking bitch'. I almost got a black eye thanks to her and she nearly knocked down my damn door. It took all of my sisters, my parents, and a damn water hose to get her to stop trying to break down my door. I didn't come out my room for the rest of the day after that.

"I don't want her to try and hurt you again", Lucy continued, "I keep thinking she's gonna end up killing you."

I smiled a bit as we walked outside the school, "She's not gonna kill me, Lucy, seriously injure me, yes, but not kill me."

I swear I could hear a quiet giggle coming from her. "Please just, try not to make her mad.", Lucy said gripping my hand a little harder.

"I promise, Lucy", I said giving my little sister a smile. We sat down on the swings and Lucy shared her lunch with me. As I watched my little sister gently sway on the swing, I begin to think about how she was the most important thing in the world to me. Even when Ronnie Anne and I were at the height of our relationship, Lucy was still my top priority. In fact, Lucy is the only reason I'm still alive.

 **Author's Note: There will be no incest in this story, but there will be one-sided LucyxLincoln (Lucy will have a small crush on Linc, but there will be nothing sexual or romantic). Next chapter will go more in depth about Lincoln's first suicide attempt.**


	3. Responsible

**Author's Note: This chapter is a flashback to the day Lincoln first contemplated suicide. Also, this chapter will introduce several more plot points that will be important or at least semi important to the story.**

"So come on baby, let's just go home now, I'll be responsible, I'll do anything I have to" - Bill Stevenson (from the song 'Maddie').

* * *

I remember the day I first considered suicide like it was yesterday. It happened a couple of months ago, I was coming home from a long day of school that consisted of having food, paper, pencils, and other things thrown at me. I had been shoved in lockers, spit on, and tripped. I'm not saying I didn't deserve it because I absolutely did.

This was the first time in years that I had to walk home alone, and I was doing so out of my own volition. I asked Clyde to let me walk home on my own today, and although I could tell that he didn't wanna let me walk alone, he let me have my space. I did something earlier that day that made everyone turn against me, and it would prove to be strike one of three in my school life.

I didn't mean to do what I did, but it's not like anyone is going to believe that. They saw what I did and that was all the proof they needed. They didn't even care to know why I did what I did, they just immediately assumed that I was a horrible person for what I did.

As I was approaching my house, I saw Lana playing in mud on the front law. She noticed me and waved excitedly at me. Surprised at the kind greeting, I returned the gesture. She seemed to forgive me after what I did to her pet. I walked in through my front door and I was immediately meant with glares from two of my sisters.

Lynn was in the middle of watching a basketball game on the television, she noticed me out of the corner of her eye and gave me an angry glare. Lori had actually stopped talking to Bobby on her phone to glare at me. They both would've attacked me right then and there if my parents didn't already lay down the law that there was to be no physical contact between they three of us. On top of that, we are forbidden from even speaking to each other until further notice. Thank God for that.

I ignored their glares and continued to my room. I tried to make it as quickly as I could without drawing attention to myself, that is the last thing I wanted right now. I was a few feet away from my room when I heard the voice of my sister Luan call for me, "Lincoln."

I sighed and turned around to see my older sisters Luan and Luna standing in the hallway. "Can we talk to you for a second? It won't take long, I promise", Luan asked.

I didn't wanna talk with anyone right now, but she said it wouldn't take long, so I gave in and said, "Sure, I'll be their in a second."

They nodded and went into their room. Not caring about what was inside of it, I forcibly threw my backpack into my room. I shouldn't have done that because it alerted Luna and Luan and caused them to look out their room. I pretended that nothing happened and walked over to them. Luna grabbed my hand and gently led me over to her bed where she sat me down. She sat next to me and put her arm around me as if she was making sure I didn't try to escape. Luan closed the door and then stood in front of me.

"So...", Luan started, "We...uh.. we know what you did to Christina. We want to know why you did that to her."

"Oh fuck off", I mumbled under my breath. I should've done it a bit quieter because the two girls heard me and gasped.

"Lincoln! You know better than to curse like that!", Luna said outraged.

"Luna, if I had a nickel for every time you've cursed in a song, I would be rich, so shut up", I snapped at her. I immediately regretted it once I saw how hurt she seemed to be by what I said.

"I'm sorry", I said, "I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I'm just, really annoyed after what happened at school."

"Well that's a good place to start", Luan said, "Why did you throw spaghetti in Christina's face? That's an awful thing to do and I'm disappointed in the fact that you would even do such a thing."

"Yeah bro", Luna said jumping in, "I thought you had a crush on her."

"I used to have a crush on her", I said getting annoyed, "And I know that you're going to think what I did was wrong regardless of what I say, but you don't know what she was doing."

"Ok Lincoln", Luan said sitting next to me, "What exactly was she doing that justifies you throwing food at her?"

I didn't answer straight away. I couldn't tell them what she was actually doing. There's no way that they would be believe me, so I came up with the most believable lie I could, "She was insulting Ronnie Anne. She was calling her horrible racist slurs and she wouldn't stop no matter how many times I asked her to."

Calling Christina a racist is the nicest thing I could've called her at that moment.

"Really?", Luna said with doubt in her voice, "Christina was saying racist slurs? You expect us to believe that?"

"That's what happened", I insisted, even though I knew I was full of shit.

Luan face palmed, "Lincoln, I know you don't wanna get in trouble, but Jesus Christ, did you really have to lie and call her a racist?"

"But...she d-", Luan shushed me.

"Just, stop it Lincoln. I'm disappointed in you. Not only did you do something incredibly mean, you have the nerve to call some girl you barely even know a racist? What the hell is wrong with you!?", Luan asked rightfully disgusted with me, "I want a real explanation for what you did. Now."

I wanted to tell her the truth. Trust me I did, but she wouldn't believe me. Neither would Luna. I would get on my knees and beg them for help if I could, but I know I can't. I probably never will be able to.

"Nothing?", Luna asked, "Nothing at all? No real excuse?"

"Not even a lie that sounds like it could be true?", Luan taunted.

"Can I go to my room?", I asked.

The girls looked at me with looks of disgust and shook. "No! You aren't going anywhere until you tell us why you did what you did! You're not get out of this!"

Luan made the mistake of yelling too loud because all of a sudden I could hear the cries of a baby. Luan had woken up Lily. "Fuck", Luan mumbled.

Suddenly, Lori burst through the door with a look that showed that she was not in a pleasant. "What the hell Luan!? You do know that I spent thirty minutes trying to get Lily to fall asleep, right!?", Lori yelled.

Luan slowly nodded clearly afraid of what her older and stronger sister would do to her while in her pissed off state.

'Well then why the fuck are you yelling like a lunatic!?", Lori said as she screamed in Luan's face. I chuckled a bit at the irony causing Luna to glare at me.

"W-Well you see, L-Lincoln th-", Lori interrupted her.

"Oh of course!", Lori said throwing her arms in the air and then looking at me, "White haired fuck is always responsible for everything that goes wrong around here! You just can't seem stay out of fucking trouble can you!?"

Luna, despite the anger she was feeling towards me at that moment, held me closer and tighter just in case Lori tried to hurt me. Lori calmed down slightly and turned back to Luan, "You need to get Lily back to sleep. Understand!?"

Luan nodded and quickly ran out the room to go tend to the crying baby. Lori then turned to Luna, "If I hear one guitar riff, I will rip your damn hair out. Got it?" Luna nodded.

And finally, Lori turned her attention to me, her least favorite person in the world. "I'm not even supposed to be fucking talking to you right now, so just go to your damn room and don't come out", she said barely containing herself. She was pissed off, and rightfully so.

I gladly exited the room and made my way to my own room. As I passed Lily and Lisa's room, I heard Luan singing rock-a-bye baby to Lily. I wanted to go in there, hug my older sister, and apologize to her. I didn't mean to get her in trouble with the dictator of the house, but I knew that she was really angry with me, and anything I said to her at that moment in time wouldn't change that.

I entered my room and lied down on my bed. I stared at the ceiling for a while. This has become a part of my daily routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, come home from, lie down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling, and go to bed. I know why this has happened to me, but I don't wanna admit it. I don't do anything at home now. I just sit in my room and wait for bedtime.

The only time I ever leave my room now is when one if my sisters need my assistance or when my parents call me down for dinner. It's easy to stay isolated in your room when almost your entire family is either too busy to care about you or angry with you. The only person who even bothers to come in my room now is Lucy. She always comes in my room to read me her new poems, tell me about her day at school, or just talk.

Although that day was different. She didn't come in my room. Not even for help writing her poems. It felt strange that she wasn't doing the things she normally does. I didn't even see her when I came in the house. Was she avoiding everyone and having some alone time like usual, or was she avoiding me specifically? Is she mad at me? I was overthinking things. I had to stop thinking about everything, but I didn't feel like falling asleep. Not at that moment at least.

So instead I continued stare at the ceiling for God knows how long. Eventually I heard my mother calling me down for dinner. I leisurely made my way down the stairs and I avoided my older sisters and went straight to the kiddie table where Lola and Lana were having an argument over something childish while Lisa just watched in annoyance. Lily was in her high chair eating her little chicken nuggets.

The only person who wasn't eating or socializing was Lucy. She was just picking at her chicken nuggets with her fork. She seemed more gloomy than usual and that was unsettling. I sat next her and moved my chair closer to her. I put my hand on her shoulder. She looked up from her food and looked at me. She gave me a small wave and went back to picking at her nuggets.

"Are you okay, Lucy?", I asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it", she said in a way that only I could hear her. She knew that if she said it out loud she would be the center of attention and everyone would be interfering in her personal business. In this house, if you even hint at having something you don't want anyone else to know, you will immediately be asked tons of questions.

Although I wanted to know why my favorite sister was gloomy, I respected her privacy and said, "You can tell me later if you want, but I still want you to eat, okay?"

Lucy didn't answer my verbally, but finally she began to eat her food. I smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She smiled a bit, but still didn't say anything. Dinner time was very standard besides that. I quickly ate my food because I wanted to get back to my room. Once I was done eating I put my dishes in the sink and I began to make my way upstairs until I heard Lucy call for me, "Hold on Lincoln."

Before I could even look back, she was already on the side of me. We looked at each other and she smiled slightly. "Can we go to your room?", she asked.

"Of course", I said.

We held hands as we walked to my room. Normally we wouldn't hold Hans for this long, but Lucy, for some reason, she didn't wanna let go. We made it to my room and I closed the door so we could have some privacy. I knew that we were probably going to need it. "So, you gonna tell me why you're extra gloomy today?", I asked.

Lucy sat on my bed and sighed, "Can you promise me that you won't tell anyone about this?"

I sat next to her and said, "I promise."

She took a deep breath and quickly said, "Ididn'tgotoschooltoday."

It took a while for me to fully understand what she said, and once it finally occurred to me, my eyes went wide and my heart stopped. "You ditched school?", I asked. Lucy slowly nodded. "Why on earth would you do that?"

Lucy looked up at me with little tears in her eyes, "I hate school Lincoln. I absolutely hate it. All I want to do is to be left alone, but the kids in my class just won't leave me alone. They keep throwing things at me and calling me horrible names. They make fun of me for being goth and they constantly throw dirt at me during recess and spit on me. And on top of all that, the boy who I have a crush on is the main instigator of it all."

Her voice was extremely more somber and it sounded like she wanted to cry. As she began to sniffle a little bit I gave her a tight hug and rubbed her back. I felt my shirt get moist and I knew that she was silently crying. I didn't say anything, I just comforted her and let her cry. I haven't seen Lucy cry since she was baby, but just like back then, I was gonna hold her until she felt better.

As she was crying, my bedroom door begin to open and in a switch motion I slammed it shut while still holding Lucy in my arms. She didn't seem to noticed and she just kept crying. I'm not sure how long we were there for, but for a short period of time, it was just me and Lucy, alone in my room, with the only sound being her sorrowful crying.

After a while of crying, Lucy finally relax and returned the hug I was giving her. "You okay?", I asked.

She nodded, but remained silent. "Look at me.", I said. She did what I asked her and I saw the tear streams on her face. I gently wiped them away and said, "Lucy, listen to me and listen good, you can never skip school again. You're lucky I'm not telling Mom and Dad. Understand?"

She nodded and started wiping newly formed tears out her eyes.

"Now about those cunts at your school", I said. Lucy seemed surprised that I used such an awful word. "I'm going to your class tomorrow and I'm going to give those little shits a piece of my mind. And if they continue, well,let's just say I'm not above punching seven year old in the face."

Lucy looked at me like I was some strange anomalie that she had never seen before, and then she smiled and said, "Thank you. Thank you so much Lincoln!"

To this day, I have yet to see Lucy smile as wide as she did at that moment. I have never seen her that happy in my life. I hugged Lucy once again and said, "It's no problem princess. Now let's get ready for bed."

Lucy nodded and held my hand as we started to walk to the bathroom to brush our teeth, but we didn't get far because as soon as we exited my room, we immediately caught unwanted attention from our siblings. Well, let me correct myself there, we got the unwanted attention of Lori.

The dictator of the siblings already had a pissed off look on her face, as if the mear knowledge of my existence had made her angry and she hadn't been able to get over it. She started to approach Lucy and I, but her eyes were specifically focused on me.

"Go ahead and get ready for bed", I said to Lucy without removing my eyes from the angry younge women who looked hell bent on killing me. Lucy nodded and quickly rushed passed Lori. The oldest loud sibling had finally made it up to me, and she was staring down at me with fire in her eyes.

"Do you know what you've done to me?", Lori asked. She once again sounded like she was struggling to keep her anger under control to avoid getting caught talking to me by our parents. "I've missed five dates with Bobby this month. And guess what? Today was our three year anniversary, and we couldn't celebrate it because of you."

Lori looked liked she was only a few seconds away from strangling me. I'll be honest, seeing her about to lose her shit would normally make me laugh on any other day, but not today, I was afraid that she might actually try and kill me if I laugh at her.

"I'm sorry you couldn't celebrate your anniversary Lori, but there's nothing I can do about it", I said hoping she would let it go, but she did not. She grabbed me by my shirt and brought me closer to her face, "You aren't sorry. You enjoy seeing me angry don't?"

"No, I don't ", I said, "I don't seeing any of my sisters unhappy, you're no exception."

"Well then why did you get me grounded!?", Lori yelled finally letting her anger lose, "You're the reason Lynn and I are grounded!"

Lynn ran up to Lori and covered her mouth to keep her from yelling any further. "Will you shut your damn mouth", Lynn said forcefully, "I don't want to be grounded even longer because you can't control your fucking temper." Lori, despite her obvious need to vent, listened to Lynn and slowly backed away from me. She still kept her eyes focused on me and I beginning to become a little uncomfortable.

I decided not to brush my teeth and just headed back to my and room to go to bed. I didn't need to keep up with my personal hygiene anyway. I changed into my pajamas and I lied down in my bed awaiting slumber to overtake me, but it wasn't happening. I couldn't fall asleep and I wasn't sure why. I was certainly tired, but it's like there was something keeping me away, like there was something I was forgetting to do.

Minutes turned to hours as I lied down on my bed staring at the wall. I was like an insomniac. I was tired, but sleep would not come. And then it hit me, Christina. She and her sister were gonna hurt me again. They might kidnap me again and hurt me just as much as they did last time, maybe even worse.

That's why I couldn't go to sleep. Deep down, I knew what the consequences of what I did today were gonna bed awful, maybe even worse then I can imagine. Definitely worse than anything Lori would do to me.

I started to tear up and hyperventilate as the knowledge of my fate began to digest. I didn't want to go through it again. It hurt so bad the last time and my body still hasn't recovered from it. What was I gonna do? I couldn't tell my parents because there's no way that they would believe that Christina and Rebecca Jillsen would something like that to me, and if I didn't tell them, I would have to suffer again.

I was torn, there was no way I could get out of this. Well, there was one way. I could've just done what Lori told me to do the day we got grounded and chuck myself right off the roof. As messed up and sudden and messed up as this sounds, I legitimately considered doing it. It's a win win. I could avoid the torture I was doomed to go through, and I could stop being such a burden around here.

I know how to get up there. All I needed to do was jump and make sure that I landed on my head. I would've done it, if it wasn't for Lucy. I made a promise to myself that I would always protect her and do my best to make her happy, or at least, less gloomy, and I can't fulfill my promise if I become a coward and kill myself. No matter how much I just wanted to jump out the window and crack my skull open, or run down to the kitchen and stab myself in the stomach, I couldn't do it. Lucy needed me, and had a responsibility to look after her, even if I just wanted to die.

So I had to take my punishment like a man.

"Lincoln?"

I was snapped out of my daydream and I looked at Lucy. She was still slowly swaying on the swing, but all her food was gone and she had a little bit of cheese on her mouth. I grabbed a napkin and tried wiped it off for her, but she pushed my hand away. "Thanks", she said, "But I can do it myself." She grabbed the napkin from my hand and wiped her mouth off.

"C'mon Lucy", I said getting of the swing, "Your class is gonna start again soon."

Lucy got off of her swing and held my hand as we began to walk back into the school. "You were daydreaming for a while there", Lucy said looking up at me, "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important", I said.

 **Author's Note: I've never done a chapter like this before, so I wouldn't be surprised if there were any errors I missed. Don't hesitate to point out any mistakes.** **Anyway, we now have a few questions in the story.**

 **Why are Lynn, Lori, and Lincoln grounded and forbidden from speaking to each other?**

 **Why are Lynn and Lori so pissed off at Linc?**

 **What did Lincoln do to Lana's pet?**

 **What did Christina and her sister do to Linc? (Admittedly, that one might be obvious.)**

 **These questions will be answered as the story progresses. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.**


	4. Remaking This Story

**I'm gonna cut to the chase because you all have better things to do, but I am rewriting this story. You'll see it soon and I promise that it will be much better than this. It will have the same name and the story will still be about Lincoln's struggle with depression except with much better writing.**


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